You can never under or overestimate the value of a friendship that you hold with someone. In the last 5 years, I have been surprised once again with respect to those people who have stayed in my life, and sadly those who are no longer a regular influence.
Friendships I have lost, some willingly, others against my will and a third group whereby a friendship simply came to a "natural" end. In all cases, I am grateful for the effects such interactions have had on my life, and the lessons learned.
What is difficult to accept however, is the end of a friendship you assumed never would. It is almost as if the friendship went from day to night in an instant, where once there was a long standing, close and supportive partnership and now in its place a relationship where both parties are more like strangers to one another.You can question the why's and the how's to death but the fact remains, life's circumstance has changed, we must accept, get the lesson and move on.
I am blessed to have some wonderful friends in my life, those people who are there no matter what the circumstance, no matter what mood they find me in. These friends, in the past I maybe never truly appreciated their worth, but I do now. It makes one realise that when you have a strong friendship with someone, while it takes work to reach a level where you trust, appreciate and value each other, from then on it should be easy to be in each others company......no conditions or pressure to the friendship should be enforced,no imbalance or opportunistic methods should be enacted by one on the other. Such relations need to be nurtured and valued by both parties for there are not many people in life that you can truly depend upon, not many people with whom you can totally be yourself without conviction.
AbFab
Wednesday, 13 November 2013
Sunday, 26 May 2013
Spring to Summer
Did you ever wonder how and why you make a decision? Did you ever wonder who and/or what you make a decision for? The last while has been somewhat of an eye opener in ways. At times disappointing, brutal, foreboding but at all times a mental and positive relief of shackles which once were hidden to my heart and soul. Now I am not saying that I will not be fooled again......in one sense I would welcome it as it will help me to continue to learn and become stronger.
So what on earth am I talking about I hear you say.......get to the bloody point!!! I know.....I do have a tendency to waffle somewhat. Well the point is that I never truly appreciated how much I had made a decision, lived my life in a certain way at times which was totally against my own ideals and in the long run did and/or could have negatively affected my happiness. I am not saying on the other hand that one should always life for ones own wishes.....that would be purely selfish, self absorbed, self righteous and WRONG. However, we should recognise when it comes to making those fundamental decisions about what we do and we do not want, what would and would not affect our happiness. Life is not worth living if living in the shadow of someone else/a malformed ideology or on a path which is not our own.
It all boils down to listening to our own inner voice. The older I get, the more I realise that we all have an inner instinct, a sixth sense as it were, which tries to guide us in the right direction and which also tries to inform us how best to live our own life and how best to interact positively with those around us, our loved ones and those closest to us. It is about a respect for self and others, the environment that we live in. That we all have our part to play and we should play the hand of cards dealt to us wisely, intelligently and with respect.
Maybe it is the advance of age........crossing a threshold from Spring to Summer.....where nature has now shown all its blossoming beauty and worth....the potential of what was, is, will be and never will be again. For me it is a different stage of adulthood where the rose tainted glasses are off and life's truths become that much more apparent and evident. That to best live your life you must be careful to make honest and truthful choices and decisions. Life will continue on come what may....learn from the past.....live the present well.....and look forward to the future that your present will form.
So what on earth am I talking about I hear you say.......get to the bloody point!!! I know.....I do have a tendency to waffle somewhat. Well the point is that I never truly appreciated how much I had made a decision, lived my life in a certain way at times which was totally against my own ideals and in the long run did and/or could have negatively affected my happiness. I am not saying on the other hand that one should always life for ones own wishes.....that would be purely selfish, self absorbed, self righteous and WRONG. However, we should recognise when it comes to making those fundamental decisions about what we do and we do not want, what would and would not affect our happiness. Life is not worth living if living in the shadow of someone else/a malformed ideology or on a path which is not our own.
It all boils down to listening to our own inner voice. The older I get, the more I realise that we all have an inner instinct, a sixth sense as it were, which tries to guide us in the right direction and which also tries to inform us how best to live our own life and how best to interact positively with those around us, our loved ones and those closest to us. It is about a respect for self and others, the environment that we live in. That we all have our part to play and we should play the hand of cards dealt to us wisely, intelligently and with respect.
Maybe it is the advance of age........crossing a threshold from Spring to Summer.....where nature has now shown all its blossoming beauty and worth....the potential of what was, is, will be and never will be again. For me it is a different stage of adulthood where the rose tainted glasses are off and life's truths become that much more apparent and evident. That to best live your life you must be careful to make honest and truthful choices and decisions. Life will continue on come what may....learn from the past.....live the present well.....and look forward to the future that your present will form.
Tuesday, 7 May 2013
The plus side of being unemployed.....for a while.
So fantastic news......I have a job yet again....a new contract for 7 months with the possibility of extension. When that happens.....I will believe it :-).
Now that I am on the verge of being a working person once more.....I am reflecting over the last several months, the ups and the downs and the lessons learned. Some might say how lucky I was......to have had so much time off.....and such people have no concept of what being unemployed can do to one`s psyche.....if you are not careful. It would have been so easy to have an unstructured day, every day. Days where you see nothing but the four walls of your home, days where you go out to a bar and feel guilty as you have not "earned" the right in your mind, of being allowed to go out, spend and enjoy. It is so easy to fall into a trap of being a "non person" whereby you could feel that you are not contributing to the world around you and therefore have lost your place within it.
The above is so easy a trap, were it not for good friends, family and maintaining confidence in oneself that with time, all things change....even the difficult times. My period of reawakening in a way has been one where the lessons of living more simply have been reiterated. The joy that can be taken from a simple moment with a friend, a walk in the park and/or the kind gesture of a stranger. To take a step out of the business world from which I came, and then to look back onto it.....its chaotic and frentic values, where loyalty, honesty and stability can be of short measure......it can make one reassess how to better and more successfully interact within such an environment....upon the upcoming return. To take a simple lesson.....to do your work well.....treat those like you want to be treated, build bridges not walls and to trust none but the few....these will be the simple lessons that I will try to live by with greater conviction once I return to the business world.
There is too much back stabbing, dishonesty, lies and people with masks in our working and social environment. Those who portray one image, only to deny themselves their own truth. Hidden agenda's and holes into negative spiral behavioural patterns.....traps that can lead your life of course, away from the happiness that everyone deserves. To remember the simple lessons in life.....to trust your instincts.....to maintain relations with those that are true and loyal to you, as you are to them......to love and be loved....to believe in your own ability and not let anyone take away your confidence so as to feed their own insecurities. Being unemployed was not such a waste after all. This period, with each passing month....peeled the unnecessary layers of the onion, to reveal the true core of what matters.....and to discard those life masks which instead of protecting only prevent from what is being true to be known.
Here's to the next chapter.........
Now that I am on the verge of being a working person once more.....I am reflecting over the last several months, the ups and the downs and the lessons learned. Some might say how lucky I was......to have had so much time off.....and such people have no concept of what being unemployed can do to one`s psyche.....if you are not careful. It would have been so easy to have an unstructured day, every day. Days where you see nothing but the four walls of your home, days where you go out to a bar and feel guilty as you have not "earned" the right in your mind, of being allowed to go out, spend and enjoy. It is so easy to fall into a trap of being a "non person" whereby you could feel that you are not contributing to the world around you and therefore have lost your place within it.
The above is so easy a trap, were it not for good friends, family and maintaining confidence in oneself that with time, all things change....even the difficult times. My period of reawakening in a way has been one where the lessons of living more simply have been reiterated. The joy that can be taken from a simple moment with a friend, a walk in the park and/or the kind gesture of a stranger. To take a step out of the business world from which I came, and then to look back onto it.....its chaotic and frentic values, where loyalty, honesty and stability can be of short measure......it can make one reassess how to better and more successfully interact within such an environment....upon the upcoming return. To take a simple lesson.....to do your work well.....treat those like you want to be treated, build bridges not walls and to trust none but the few....these will be the simple lessons that I will try to live by with greater conviction once I return to the business world.
There is too much back stabbing, dishonesty, lies and people with masks in our working and social environment. Those who portray one image, only to deny themselves their own truth. Hidden agenda's and holes into negative spiral behavioural patterns.....traps that can lead your life of course, away from the happiness that everyone deserves. To remember the simple lessons in life.....to trust your instincts.....to maintain relations with those that are true and loyal to you, as you are to them......to love and be loved....to believe in your own ability and not let anyone take away your confidence so as to feed their own insecurities. Being unemployed was not such a waste after all. This period, with each passing month....peeled the unnecessary layers of the onion, to reveal the true core of what matters.....and to discard those life masks which instead of protecting only prevent from what is being true to be known.
Here's to the next chapter.........
Friday, 12 April 2013
Jump off the cliff......or not?
I am sure we have all heard the phrase regarding how sometimes you need to jump off the cliff.....jump into the unknown so as to take a risk/leap of faith etc so as to change your life, with the hope that that change would be for the better. However, what if NOT jumping is the more risky option?
Just a week ago, I was faced with a life changing decision. One option would be new job, "new" country. The other option no job, same country. Which to take? A new job and "new" country in a sense to me was to jump from the cliff, the other to not jump. In a very strange way, not jumping proved to be of greater risk.
To jump would have been into the unknown.....not knowing if the job, company and country was the right option for my happiness and well being. Such a decision I have made previously in my life....and it was the right decision. So why not this time? Because this time, for various reasons, the feeling was that I would not be jumping into such a decision....rather.....a force was trying to push me over the cliff.....i.e. a decision against my instinct and gut feeling.
Some might say that this push feeling is more a fear, afraid to jump. In this case, you would not be right. In fact, the fear feeling I had was in fact to not jump and therefore remain unemployed......not knowing when I will get a job or what kind a job I would find. Fear also of staying in a country which would force me to change my life in ways that may or may not lead to greater happiness. Staying on this path in fact posed a greater risk, it brings about a greater leap of faith as rather than jumping and "falling" into a new life, I must now walk a path unknown and face whatever challenges it brings. To walk away from the cliff edge this time, is to acknowledge that this path has not yet come to an end, that this path I continue on come what may.....until I am sure that it has come to its natural end.
It goes to show that in life, we all have an inner indicator, a gut feeling as it were, which we must learn to listen to.....so that we can know when it is our gut feeling that is speaking to us, and not fear. To learn to trust oneself, to trust in our own truth and have faith in our decisions and convictions.
Just a week ago, I was faced with a life changing decision. One option would be new job, "new" country. The other option no job, same country. Which to take? A new job and "new" country in a sense to me was to jump from the cliff, the other to not jump. In a very strange way, not jumping proved to be of greater risk.
To jump would have been into the unknown.....not knowing if the job, company and country was the right option for my happiness and well being. Such a decision I have made previously in my life....and it was the right decision. So why not this time? Because this time, for various reasons, the feeling was that I would not be jumping into such a decision....rather.....a force was trying to push me over the cliff.....i.e. a decision against my instinct and gut feeling.
Some might say that this push feeling is more a fear, afraid to jump. In this case, you would not be right. In fact, the fear feeling I had was in fact to not jump and therefore remain unemployed......not knowing when I will get a job or what kind a job I would find. Fear also of staying in a country which would force me to change my life in ways that may or may not lead to greater happiness. Staying on this path in fact posed a greater risk, it brings about a greater leap of faith as rather than jumping and "falling" into a new life, I must now walk a path unknown and face whatever challenges it brings. To walk away from the cliff edge this time, is to acknowledge that this path has not yet come to an end, that this path I continue on come what may.....until I am sure that it has come to its natural end.
It goes to show that in life, we all have an inner indicator, a gut feeling as it were, which we must learn to listen to.....so that we can know when it is our gut feeling that is speaking to us, and not fear. To learn to trust oneself, to trust in our own truth and have faith in our decisions and convictions.
Thursday, 4 April 2013
The Blocking Power of Fear
Potentially I may have a big decision to make soon that could change my path in life. Funny......a few weeks ago, I was sure that this change in path would be a positive move. Now, as the time to concrete that decision, or not, draws ever closer.....a whole wave of Fear has arisen from nowhere. This has simply blocked my ability to rationalise, to think objectively and subjectively.....has given rise to the "what if" and so forth.
There are many positives about saying yes to this path change......many. However, one of the negatives I just cannot get out of my mind. Saying yes to this career and life change would mean changing country, and city. The city I have lived in before.......and when I was there recently I realised how much I still do not miss it......and it brought up the question.....could I be happy living there again? Also what concerns me is the attitude of the locals to people of my sexuality. Has their attitude moved on? Two years ago I was back on a visit and made fun of in a bar......and while I laughed it off......I must admit that deep down it hurt. I am human after all. Where I live now.......people are not bothered in the slightest.....for which I now appreciate the freedom of mind that gives me when I walk down the street or into a bar.
So what do I do? To move would mean reunification with my family and some dear Friends.....and it would be joyous to be near them again. Also I would have the prospect of a good new career direction, with a very very reputable global company. The one big big problem........is the city where this job is located.......can I live there again AND be happy? My heart and my head are swinging constantly from both directions......and overall I admit that in my mind and psyche there is a huge fear about going......or even about not going. How can I be sure that I am making the correct decision? To quote a saying from the beautiful film "The Way" which a dear Friend recommended to me...."You do not choose a life, you live it." So how can I be sure that I am not choosing a life because it seems the correct thing to do.....rather than choosing a life because that is the one that I want to live!? My heart and my head is so confused......and I am hoping for the fog to lift soon. I realise also, that sometimes in life you must take a risk.....jump off the cliff and not take the safe option all of the time.... Why? Because by not taking risks......life can become stagnant.....black and white.......where you wake up one day and realise ten years have passed in the blink of an eye. Making the decision to move to where I currently live nearly broke my heart......but I have never regretted it looking back. Is it now time for history to repeat itself?
There are many positives about saying yes to this path change......many. However, one of the negatives I just cannot get out of my mind. Saying yes to this career and life change would mean changing country, and city. The city I have lived in before.......and when I was there recently I realised how much I still do not miss it......and it brought up the question.....could I be happy living there again? Also what concerns me is the attitude of the locals to people of my sexuality. Has their attitude moved on? Two years ago I was back on a visit and made fun of in a bar......and while I laughed it off......I must admit that deep down it hurt. I am human after all. Where I live now.......people are not bothered in the slightest.....for which I now appreciate the freedom of mind that gives me when I walk down the street or into a bar.
So what do I do? To move would mean reunification with my family and some dear Friends.....and it would be joyous to be near them again. Also I would have the prospect of a good new career direction, with a very very reputable global company. The one big big problem........is the city where this job is located.......can I live there again AND be happy? My heart and my head are swinging constantly from both directions......and overall I admit that in my mind and psyche there is a huge fear about going......or even about not going. How can I be sure that I am making the correct decision? To quote a saying from the beautiful film "The Way" which a dear Friend recommended to me...."You do not choose a life, you live it." So how can I be sure that I am not choosing a life because it seems the correct thing to do.....rather than choosing a life because that is the one that I want to live!? My heart and my head is so confused......and I am hoping for the fog to lift soon. I realise also, that sometimes in life you must take a risk.....jump off the cliff and not take the safe option all of the time.... Why? Because by not taking risks......life can become stagnant.....black and white.......where you wake up one day and realise ten years have passed in the blink of an eye. Making the decision to move to where I currently live nearly broke my heart......but I have never regretted it looking back. Is it now time for history to repeat itself?
Friday, 1 March 2013
First day of a new status
This is a first. Today is my first day of being officially unemployed!!!!! Never has this happened to me before. It is also odd to be experiencing something you previously feared, realising that the level of fear in your mind was unrealistic and that by keeping your mind calm, focused and maintaining a sense of reality, fear or more its impact can be lessened.
It just goes to show the power of the mind and how it can affect our lives. Both the power of our own minds, and the minds of others. A strong sense of belief and a realistic awareness of who you are, coupled with having people around you who love and support you unconditionally is more important than can be measured.
So I am now unemployed. However, I am not going to allow myself to fear that this is how my situation will stay, that my life will continue to become more bleak. As the phrase goes.....why do we fall? So that we can learn to get back up again. And I will get back up.....with an attitude that I must not give up....as to give up is to loose. I am unemployed but looking forward, not back. A waterfall begins with just one drop of water....a small seed sewn can grow into something more powerful than the beginning.
Here's to all our futures and to building a better world.
Thursday, 28 February 2013
Release
It was so weird yesterday. I had to return equipment, badges etc for my old job....and in doing so had to go to one of the offices that I spent time in during the last two years. When I first was given notice.......I was dreading this moment, believing that should it come to me being released from my current company, that the fear of being unemployed, no earnings, would be too much to bear.
Therefore, imagine my surprise yesterday when I left the building and my initial reaction was relief!!!! In a bizarre turn of events, the termination in paper.....in a tangible form, that my old working life was no more brought about a feeling in my mind where I felt free.....free to choose, free to dream, free to go after a job that I want. Now of course, I always had such liberty. However, when one is in the middle of a busy job, you can quite easily and unknowingly silence your own dissatisfaction about a situation. I suppose this is what, in the past, separated me from those people who enjoy and are successful in their working lives. They do not waste time in a role/company that they know is not for them and/or conflicts with their internal happiness and/or career aspirations.
So I walked out of the building.....looked across the street to my former office and there were no regrets. Of course I am not saying that I won't make mistakes in my working life again in the choices I make......indeed I am expecting too! However, what I would like to change is self awareness.....albeit a greater one of time, effort, happiness in relation to my work. We all spend so much time there. I no longer want to create a mental cage for myself where I feel unable to leave a role/company due to fear! It just brings to the fore how controlling fear can be in our lives, IF we cede power to it! So for the future, I need to build a greater nest egg so that I can easily survive a period of unemployment.
Feel the fear and do it anyway.
Therefore, imagine my surprise yesterday when I left the building and my initial reaction was relief!!!! In a bizarre turn of events, the termination in paper.....in a tangible form, that my old working life was no more brought about a feeling in my mind where I felt free.....free to choose, free to dream, free to go after a job that I want. Now of course, I always had such liberty. However, when one is in the middle of a busy job, you can quite easily and unknowingly silence your own dissatisfaction about a situation. I suppose this is what, in the past, separated me from those people who enjoy and are successful in their working lives. They do not waste time in a role/company that they know is not for them and/or conflicts with their internal happiness and/or career aspirations.
So I walked out of the building.....looked across the street to my former office and there were no regrets. Of course I am not saying that I won't make mistakes in my working life again in the choices I make......indeed I am expecting too! However, what I would like to change is self awareness.....albeit a greater one of time, effort, happiness in relation to my work. We all spend so much time there. I no longer want to create a mental cage for myself where I feel unable to leave a role/company due to fear! It just brings to the fore how controlling fear can be in our lives, IF we cede power to it! So for the future, I need to build a greater nest egg so that I can easily survive a period of unemployment.
Feel the fear and do it anyway.
Monday, 25 February 2013
Every 5 years
Have you ever noticed, that in part or parts of your life, there is the 5 year threshold? You move abroad....stay for 5 years....move......you are in a job for 5 years....leave....etc etc. What is it about 5 years that seems to be after which, change or a life marking decision needs to be made? Maybe it is that correct amount of time after which you have gone through the beginning, middle and the end of a chapter in your life, marking a time to move on. Or.....is it a spiritual awareness of sorts, whereby your inner self and/or soul is telling you that it is time to move on in your life rather than to stagnate?
Of course, the "5 year rule" is not always true in every case and also, at times it is ignored, be it for good or bad reasons. I think back to a professional role that I performed for a company for almost ten years. When I reflect.....I should have left or sought out a change after having done 5 years in that role, and the consequences of making that decision I still feel today. However, the fact that I stayed in that role, put me in contact with a person in my life that eventually played an instrumental role in my coming to Switzerland when I did. The question is, would fate have determined that I came to Switzerland in any case......or by not moving on after 5 years and not having listened to my inner self, did I ignore my true destiny and change my life path? An answer to these questions will never be known, and nor should they be. I suppose in the end, what is true is that life is what you make it yourself, that the future is not set in stone, that you make your own destiny.
Of course, the "5 year rule" is not always true in every case and also, at times it is ignored, be it for good or bad reasons. I think back to a professional role that I performed for a company for almost ten years. When I reflect.....I should have left or sought out a change after having done 5 years in that role, and the consequences of making that decision I still feel today. However, the fact that I stayed in that role, put me in contact with a person in my life that eventually played an instrumental role in my coming to Switzerland when I did. The question is, would fate have determined that I came to Switzerland in any case......or by not moving on after 5 years and not having listened to my inner self, did I ignore my true destiny and change my life path? An answer to these questions will never be known, and nor should they be. I suppose in the end, what is true is that life is what you make it yourself, that the future is not set in stone, that you make your own destiny.
Tuesday, 19 February 2013
Body or mind transformation or both?
I was shopping the other day, surprise surprise.....and as spring is fast approaching I thought it time to inject some new colour into my wardrobe. So....I bought bright, sky blue pants.....and am totally loving them.
When I saw them on the rack......the label said "extra slim fit".....and in my head I was thinking.....no way will they fit. The surprise, they did and no.....it does not look like I am wearing tights! :-)
They fit now.....but 4 years ago there would not have been a hope in hell. Back then, I went through a phase where I was really into bodybuilding, a phase that I thoroughly enjoyed and with no regrets. It taught me various lessons such as the power of the mind.....how we can go beyond our perceived limits and many more. My weight increased by around 7 or 8kg...all muscle! With that.....of course, my body shape. The blue jeans I bought the other day would not have passed my thighs had I bought them back then.
Now, I have "slimmed" down and I much prefer my body shape now. However, at least I know what it is like to have more muscle (bulky) on one's body, and can now respect the effort of those who are body builders, and the dedication it takes to get to, and maintain such a size. Even though I have lost the bulk, I have not lost the lessons. Surprisingly, these lessons can translate into several parts of my life. Such as the lessons of:
- Never give up. Just when you think you cannot go on....try again and you will be surprised at what you can achieve.
- The mind usually tells you to stop, when in fact there is more you can achieve.
- Success comes from making an effort, welcoming change. Staying still is not an option.
- When you are determined to achieve, and not give up, others will notice and recognise your effort.
- To make such an effort to change, you must be doing it only for one person, yourself. To work hard for other people's wishes, will only bring about unhappiness.
The above were just some of the surprising lesson's learned. What also is amazing to me is how we can affect our own body shape, be it for the good or the bad. The lesson here is that the power is within us to effect such a change, be it on our own bodies and/or our own lives.
When I saw them on the rack......the label said "extra slim fit".....and in my head I was thinking.....no way will they fit. The surprise, they did and no.....it does not look like I am wearing tights! :-)
They fit now.....but 4 years ago there would not have been a hope in hell. Back then, I went through a phase where I was really into bodybuilding, a phase that I thoroughly enjoyed and with no regrets. It taught me various lessons such as the power of the mind.....how we can go beyond our perceived limits and many more. My weight increased by around 7 or 8kg...all muscle! With that.....of course, my body shape. The blue jeans I bought the other day would not have passed my thighs had I bought them back then.
Now, I have "slimmed" down and I much prefer my body shape now. However, at least I know what it is like to have more muscle (bulky) on one's body, and can now respect the effort of those who are body builders, and the dedication it takes to get to, and maintain such a size. Even though I have lost the bulk, I have not lost the lessons. Surprisingly, these lessons can translate into several parts of my life. Such as the lessons of:
- Never give up. Just when you think you cannot go on....try again and you will be surprised at what you can achieve.
- The mind usually tells you to stop, when in fact there is more you can achieve.
- Success comes from making an effort, welcoming change. Staying still is not an option.
- When you are determined to achieve, and not give up, others will notice and recognise your effort.
- To make such an effort to change, you must be doing it only for one person, yourself. To work hard for other people's wishes, will only bring about unhappiness.
The above were just some of the surprising lesson's learned. What also is amazing to me is how we can affect our own body shape, be it for the good or the bad. The lesson here is that the power is within us to effect such a change, be it on our own bodies and/or our own lives.
Thursday, 14 February 2013
To the future
I had a weird sensation this morning. I had just completed my second meeting with the unemployment office and was walking towards my home. In the distance, I saw the building where I had spent the last two years of my working life, a place where largely I had had a positive experience while working there, from the professional experience gained and the lovely new friends that I had made thanks to the environment.
Now however I was looking at a building that I no longer wanted to see the interior of. It now represents that past, and the past should not be relived. Also, since leaving that particular workplace, it is clear that my professional future, if it is to be happy, must not be in such an environment. How odd it is to prefer to be for now unemployed, rather than work and be just "existing."
The task now is to secure a happier professional career.....this "break" is a window of opportunity that I must be determined not to waste. It brings to mind how necessary it is for us all in life to stop.....take stock of the situation we find ourselves in and ask if we are happy......if we are on the right path.....if change is needed or not. Most of us can simply soldier on in automatic pilot mode, sometimes on a path which does not suit and/or a path which makes us unhappy, all while not actually realising it. Sometimes what can appear to be negative (for me in this case looses my job), could instead be a blessing in disguise to a happier future.
Now however I was looking at a building that I no longer wanted to see the interior of. It now represents that past, and the past should not be relived. Also, since leaving that particular workplace, it is clear that my professional future, if it is to be happy, must not be in such an environment. How odd it is to prefer to be for now unemployed, rather than work and be just "existing."
The task now is to secure a happier professional career.....this "break" is a window of opportunity that I must be determined not to waste. It brings to mind how necessary it is for us all in life to stop.....take stock of the situation we find ourselves in and ask if we are happy......if we are on the right path.....if change is needed or not. Most of us can simply soldier on in automatic pilot mode, sometimes on a path which does not suit and/or a path which makes us unhappy, all while not actually realising it. Sometimes what can appear to be negative (for me in this case looses my job), could instead be a blessing in disguise to a happier future.
Tuesday, 5 February 2013
recognise the reality
I was at a meeting yesterday. One with a recruitment agency.....which turned out to be the most professional recruitment consultant I have dealt with.
In any case....we talked and at the end.....he detailed some roles that based on my experience, he strongly believes that I could apply for should I wish. At first I was a bit flabbergasted....me...in those roles.....is he sure? However then I saw what he meant, how to be successful in those roles, it was important to display some of the skills that I have used in my previous roles.
It got me thinking......about how we can sometimes not recognise our own reality, recognise our own worth and strengths (and weakenesses). This is not exactly a failing, more a product of being busy with life, work, home and not taking time out to recognise both our accomplishments and skills, but more importantly their value. The opposite can also be true, in that we should recognise our failings, mistakes, when we hurt people and not brush over and such actions as insignificant. Far from being negative, this helps us learn, learn how to make a weakness a strength and build a more successful and happy life.
All in all, yesterday's meeting brought home how essential it is for us to live in the now, to not exist in our own realities but to be the active player in it.....to enjoy, learn and build on our realities. It is so easy to see so many years go by wasted, in the blink of an eye......to ignore the value of someone or something and not give it/them the deserved attention and value.
The past is past and cannot be undone, the present builds the future which we will live tomorrow :-)
In any case....we talked and at the end.....he detailed some roles that based on my experience, he strongly believes that I could apply for should I wish. At first I was a bit flabbergasted....me...in those roles.....is he sure? However then I saw what he meant, how to be successful in those roles, it was important to display some of the skills that I have used in my previous roles.
It got me thinking......about how we can sometimes not recognise our own reality, recognise our own worth and strengths (and weakenesses). This is not exactly a failing, more a product of being busy with life, work, home and not taking time out to recognise both our accomplishments and skills, but more importantly their value. The opposite can also be true, in that we should recognise our failings, mistakes, when we hurt people and not brush over and such actions as insignificant. Far from being negative, this helps us learn, learn how to make a weakness a strength and build a more successful and happy life.
All in all, yesterday's meeting brought home how essential it is for us to live in the now, to not exist in our own realities but to be the active player in it.....to enjoy, learn and build on our realities. It is so easy to see so many years go by wasted, in the blink of an eye......to ignore the value of someone or something and not give it/them the deserved attention and value.
The past is past and cannot be undone, the present builds the future which we will live tomorrow :-)
Wednesday, 30 January 2013
What is "Home?"
Watched a lovely program on TV recently, about a family of four from Britain moving to Australia....but where their 19 year daughter decided to stay in Britain, initially to finish University....and then maybe move to join them. The Mother of the family made a wonderful comment, that the four of them are what makes "home," not just the bricks and mortar. That wherever they were, that was "home."
Such a wonderful sentiment and I do and do not agree with it. Family for me will always be "home," like the lady said in the tv program. However, she was lucky, she had most of her family with her. From my experience of living abroad, if you are on your own......part of the experience is that you must try to make your new city/country feel like home, if you are to settle. It may or may not work, and if it does not......then time to move on again or go back to your spiritual home, your family.
There is a lot to be said about living abroad. It has given me experiences in life, introduced me to wonderful people that otherwise I would never have met, and helped me learn (both good and bad) about life and what we must do and not do. I will always, always be grateful for that. However, to make sure my family know it, you are and always will be my "home," and my love for you will never die. Not even the Grim Reaper can take that away :-).
Such a wonderful sentiment and I do and do not agree with it. Family for me will always be "home," like the lady said in the tv program. However, she was lucky, she had most of her family with her. From my experience of living abroad, if you are on your own......part of the experience is that you must try to make your new city/country feel like home, if you are to settle. It may or may not work, and if it does not......then time to move on again or go back to your spiritual home, your family.
There is a lot to be said about living abroad. It has given me experiences in life, introduced me to wonderful people that otherwise I would never have met, and helped me learn (both good and bad) about life and what we must do and not do. I will always, always be grateful for that. However, to make sure my family know it, you are and always will be my "home," and my love for you will never die. Not even the Grim Reaper can take that away :-).
Thursday, 17 January 2013
Speaking without words
I had such a memorable and moving evening yesterday. I went with a friend to "Tango Fire," a show incorporating tango dance, music and song. The show was breathtaking and the talent of the dancers, musicians and singer simply blew me away. I never knew how technical tango dance was....how energetic and acrobatic an art form.
What struck me though was how art, in this case dance, can speak to you without words. Tango is a particularly sensual, expressive and sexual dance. There was one dance set in last nights show which was so moving.....almost portraying the great love of the two dancers and the pain, joy and energy of being in love. The dancers in their moves and facial expressions were so emotive, that at one point I noticed a tear strolling down my cheeks, quite unexpectedly. That moment brought home to me the power of art, how it can touch, teach and influence.....as long as our mind and hearts are open to it......open to experience, learn and enjoy. It made such a refreshing difference to be touched without anyone ever having uttered a word.......to understand a language that any culture or nationality could comprehend.
Note to self, I must attend more such evenings.....
What struck me though was how art, in this case dance, can speak to you without words. Tango is a particularly sensual, expressive and sexual dance. There was one dance set in last nights show which was so moving.....almost portraying the great love of the two dancers and the pain, joy and energy of being in love. The dancers in their moves and facial expressions were so emotive, that at one point I noticed a tear strolling down my cheeks, quite unexpectedly. That moment brought home to me the power of art, how it can touch, teach and influence.....as long as our mind and hearts are open to it......open to experience, learn and enjoy. It made such a refreshing difference to be touched without anyone ever having uttered a word.......to understand a language that any culture or nationality could comprehend.
Note to self, I must attend more such evenings.....
Tuesday, 15 January 2013
The importance of structure
It is crazy when you don't have the usual 9 to 5 routine, how it can be so easy to become complacent, how one day seems to blur into another........
For about one month now, I have not had the normal office routine. I must admit that the "break" from the daily grind has been surprisingly most welcome....an opportunity to recharge and refocus. However now, I am reminded how easy it can be to let oneself go into a negative non proactive state.....to more exist rather than live.
So, the task is to keep a routine, not allow myself to stay in bed beyond a certain time and have a goal for each day that takes me outside, to interact, to socialise. While it is very important to make continued effort to find a new job, it is also highly important to be an "active member in society" so to speak. The life of a hermit is not for me :-).
For about one month now, I have not had the normal office routine. I must admit that the "break" from the daily grind has been surprisingly most welcome....an opportunity to recharge and refocus. However now, I am reminded how easy it can be to let oneself go into a negative non proactive state.....to more exist rather than live.
So, the task is to keep a routine, not allow myself to stay in bed beyond a certain time and have a goal for each day that takes me outside, to interact, to socialise. While it is very important to make continued effort to find a new job, it is also highly important to be an "active member in society" so to speak. The life of a hermit is not for me :-).
Monday, 14 January 2013
Good hiding in the bad?
Those who know me well, would agree that I am generally a very optimistic individual. I have my ups and downs like any normal human being (holy crap I am calling myself normal...yuk), and there is nothing wrong with that.....it is called life.
Anyway, as my working life is not so busy, you have more time to reflect without any negative influence...an opportunity to take stock as it were. As upsetting as it was to loose my job, I am now beginning to wonder if it was a blessing in disguise? Looking at my previous role, it was time for a change.....and taking into account the current management in that department, I don't believe I would ever have had an opportunity in the near future to diversify. So, was the act of loosing my position more positive than good?
I will say one thing, it put me on a track where I have been able to work with an outplacement agency on studying my profile, which is proving to be very rewarding. My current question is to whether to take whatever job comes next or, should I use the safety net of the local unemployment services and work at finding a job that I REALLY would like to do? It is a question which could conflict with my inner moral standings that I have always lived by. However, I do not want to miss taking a career path to where I would potentially be the most content I have ever been in my career?
On the other hand.....the risk is long term unemployment, a path which can bring about most negative influential consequences, depending on how I would or would not handle it.
Time to consider.....
Anyway, as my working life is not so busy, you have more time to reflect without any negative influence...an opportunity to take stock as it were. As upsetting as it was to loose my job, I am now beginning to wonder if it was a blessing in disguise? Looking at my previous role, it was time for a change.....and taking into account the current management in that department, I don't believe I would ever have had an opportunity in the near future to diversify. So, was the act of loosing my position more positive than good?
I will say one thing, it put me on a track where I have been able to work with an outplacement agency on studying my profile, which is proving to be very rewarding. My current question is to whether to take whatever job comes next or, should I use the safety net of the local unemployment services and work at finding a job that I REALLY would like to do? It is a question which could conflict with my inner moral standings that I have always lived by. However, I do not want to miss taking a career path to where I would potentially be the most content I have ever been in my career?
On the other hand.....the risk is long term unemployment, a path which can bring about most negative influential consequences, depending on how I would or would not handle it.
Time to consider.....
Wednesday, 9 January 2013
Give myself a break
This morning I had a meeting with an outplacement agency here in Zurich, who are helping me to find a local job and looking at ways to improve my professional profile. My previous two meetings were in English.....but this morning I was meeting a different gentleman....who started off in German so I continued in German.
The meeting lasted over an hour.....and while my German was far from perfect, you know I more than managed. The feeling I came out with from the meeting was that in this respect, and in others, I really need to give myself a break and not be so hard, so critical on how I perform in certain areas. Recognise my successes and failures, and learn from both.
When one thinks of it though, are we not all the same??? I am sure that many of us have areas of our personality/abilities where we are overly negative and critical about, unnecessarily downgrading our ability and thereby ensuring that in reality....we do NOT perform as we could. It really is about confidence but also, to recognise and ACCEPT when one does well. To not see anything wrong in doing so.
Personally, my failure to accept that I am not a failure in certain tasks at times, comes from past depressions (thankfully a long way back in my past) but also from a cultural trait in Irish people. I am not 100% sure why, maybe it derives from years of colonialism and the subsequent effect it had on the Irish psyche, but Irish people can have a real tendency to put themselves down in a joking manner or otherwise.....a tendency to not wish to be seen as arrogant, a show off, a know it all, etc. While there are many many Irish people who do not fall into this bracket, it is interesting to see how many of my Irish circle (but not all) show some or all of the above traits. Maybe it is just that similar people attract each other into the same social circles......or maybe not.
One to think about.....
Tuesday, 8 January 2013
Second chance
A neighbour of mine is moving out today, unfortunately the only one in the building who would stop and talk etc. However, luckily, she is only moving up the road. I was impressed with her today though.
To move her belongings, she hired a firm who use workers that are in drug rehabilitation, thus by giving these people a second chance to get back into the workforce, to stand once again on their own two feet. In addition, part of the charge for the service goes back into the rehabilitation centre so that they can keep helping people to get over this awful addiction.
In any case.....I stopped by her apartment to see if she needed anything, and found out that one of the workers, a young man.....had felt suddenly quite ill, he was lying on her living room floor in a lot of discomfort. Part of his symptoms were from getting over his addiction. We all tried to help him with water, I rushed to get something sweet (he needed a sugar burst), and I could not help feeling so sorry for him. It would be SO easy to look at this young guy and judge him......but what came through my head was that this could so easily be me, a member of my family, a friend, a loved one......
We all need a second chance.....we all need not to judge......
To move her belongings, she hired a firm who use workers that are in drug rehabilitation, thus by giving these people a second chance to get back into the workforce, to stand once again on their own two feet. In addition, part of the charge for the service goes back into the rehabilitation centre so that they can keep helping people to get over this awful addiction.
In any case.....I stopped by her apartment to see if she needed anything, and found out that one of the workers, a young man.....had felt suddenly quite ill, he was lying on her living room floor in a lot of discomfort. Part of his symptoms were from getting over his addiction. We all tried to help him with water, I rushed to get something sweet (he needed a sugar burst), and I could not help feeling so sorry for him. It would be SO easy to look at this young guy and judge him......but what came through my head was that this could so easily be me, a member of my family, a friend, a loved one......
We all need a second chance.....we all need not to judge......
Friday, 4 January 2013
Happiness shared
Have you ever been so happy at someone else's happiness, as much as if it had happened to yourself? There is a friend I have, who over the last 4 years has had such an unbelieveably stressful and traumatic time that it is beyond my total comprehension how she coped. Added to that, her childhood had many examples of unhappy times, none of which was her fault. If there had been one saving grace in the last 4 years, it was her very loving, very loyal and very giving boyfriend.
I just got a text from her 10 minutes ago. Her biggest wish has come true!!!!!! In front of all her family and friends (at her homeplace), on New Years eve and on bended knee, he proposed!!!! How happy am I for them both, but especially for her!!! So excited to sense, even in a text message, how happy she is as this happiness she deserves after such a long battle with various life experiences in her family.
Just goes to prove, that good things eventually do happen to good people :-).
I just got a text from her 10 minutes ago. Her biggest wish has come true!!!!!! In front of all her family and friends (at her homeplace), on New Years eve and on bended knee, he proposed!!!! How happy am I for them both, but especially for her!!! So excited to sense, even in a text message, how happy she is as this happiness she deserves after such a long battle with various life experiences in her family.
Just goes to prove, that good things eventually do happen to good people :-).
Thursday, 3 January 2013
Links to your past life.....your ancestors
Have you ever visited a country......and felt it was "familiar".....even when you were visiting for the first time? There are times I wonder if the links from the past live within each successive generation, even if one is not instinctively aware of it.
My "familiar" experience is linked with two countries, France and Norway. I am not saying that I would love to live in either permanently, even though I have lived in France. However, it is an odd feeling when I visit the above countries. I get a sense of the familiar, that the environment is not completely unknown, that's it's culture is more easy to relate to. Now of course, this could all be my crazy head running away with itself, or it could be a real link from my ancestral past, living within my family and I. For example, my home country Ireland, is well known for having been invaded by the Vikings. However, only very very recently did I learn that it was primarily the Norwegian Vikings who colonised Ireland.....hmmm. Also, there was previously talk about some of my family coming from France, although that was never proven.
Other examples: Jeremy Irons the actor.....who had a strange sense of connection with West Cork in Ireland, a place he now calls home. In the end....it was found that his ancestors, many generations back....came from just a few miles down the road from where he now lives.
Another example, Brooke Shields, who also felt an affiliation with France....she felt at home there whenever she visited. She was found to have a DIRECT ancestral link to King Louis XIV, one of the greatest French Kings.
It makes you wonder........
My "familiar" experience is linked with two countries, France and Norway. I am not saying that I would love to live in either permanently, even though I have lived in France. However, it is an odd feeling when I visit the above countries. I get a sense of the familiar, that the environment is not completely unknown, that's it's culture is more easy to relate to. Now of course, this could all be my crazy head running away with itself, or it could be a real link from my ancestral past, living within my family and I. For example, my home country Ireland, is well known for having been invaded by the Vikings. However, only very very recently did I learn that it was primarily the Norwegian Vikings who colonised Ireland.....hmmm. Also, there was previously talk about some of my family coming from France, although that was never proven.
Other examples: Jeremy Irons the actor.....who had a strange sense of connection with West Cork in Ireland, a place he now calls home. In the end....it was found that his ancestors, many generations back....came from just a few miles down the road from where he now lives.
Another example, Brooke Shields, who also felt an affiliation with France....she felt at home there whenever she visited. She was found to have a DIRECT ancestral link to King Louis XIV, one of the greatest French Kings.
It makes you wonder........
Wednesday, 2 January 2013
Trust in inner instinct
First......Happy Happy 2013 everyone and all the best for the New Year!
While 2012 was not the most horrible year of my life by any means, I am happy to see the back of it and now looking forward to a new year with new beginnings.
It is an odd feeling this morning as I write. It was such a strange feeling to wake up this morning, and not have a job to go to. I was in this position 2 years ago with the same company, but at that time, it was post a very traumatic experience and I was at that time in quite a daze....not really knowing what was going on internally. This time however, it is different. My head and personal view of me, myself and I is in a much much more positive place.
One change, is listening to one's inner voice.....to derive an inner instinct to help you live by, so that you can make the life choices best for you, to guide you along your path and also an inner capability to keep a level head about life's forces that you meet daily. So what does my inner instinct tell me today? That somehow, I don't know how, but all will turn out ok. I of course did not want to loose my job. However, as I now look back at the organisation I left, I will no longer shed a sad emotion for now not being part of it. While it has afforded me great experience and other opportunities, the price was to work in an environment that became increasingly negative and hostile. I for one, am proud of the fact that I "swam" and did not "sink."
Life is all about choices, the ones you do and you do not make, and the ones that at times are made for you. I lost my job not by my own desire. However in doing so, I am beginning to realise that this may be a blessing in disguise; a release from an environment that I could have just stayed in so as to keep a job, while at the same time not being available for a potentially better position elsewhere.
So, here's to the unknown! I run at you without fear......comin at ya!
While 2012 was not the most horrible year of my life by any means, I am happy to see the back of it and now looking forward to a new year with new beginnings.
It is an odd feeling this morning as I write. It was such a strange feeling to wake up this morning, and not have a job to go to. I was in this position 2 years ago with the same company, but at that time, it was post a very traumatic experience and I was at that time in quite a daze....not really knowing what was going on internally. This time however, it is different. My head and personal view of me, myself and I is in a much much more positive place.
One change, is listening to one's inner voice.....to derive an inner instinct to help you live by, so that you can make the life choices best for you, to guide you along your path and also an inner capability to keep a level head about life's forces that you meet daily. So what does my inner instinct tell me today? That somehow, I don't know how, but all will turn out ok. I of course did not want to loose my job. However, as I now look back at the organisation I left, I will no longer shed a sad emotion for now not being part of it. While it has afforded me great experience and other opportunities, the price was to work in an environment that became increasingly negative and hostile. I for one, am proud of the fact that I "swam" and did not "sink."
Life is all about choices, the ones you do and you do not make, and the ones that at times are made for you. I lost my job not by my own desire. However in doing so, I am beginning to realise that this may be a blessing in disguise; a release from an environment that I could have just stayed in so as to keep a job, while at the same time not being available for a potentially better position elsewhere.
So, here's to the unknown! I run at you without fear......comin at ya!
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